NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize