She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
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