i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
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