considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
