Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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