i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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