i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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