She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
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