i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
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It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
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I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
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