I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
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