I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
It was confusing and full of hummus
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize