I woke up this morning wearing my tux shirt and jacket, but no pants.
______ was pissed. My breath tastes like tequila and doritos, and I couldn't get it up.
Only a mothe r could love this liver
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
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