And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
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Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
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