1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
Fuck appropriateness.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Randomize