He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
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