I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
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I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
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Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
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