I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize