I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP ππππ
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