guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Randomize