What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
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I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
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