I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
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