oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
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