I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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