I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
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