It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
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