One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
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Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
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