I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
We need a shit load of segways right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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