also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
There was a lot of him and a little penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
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