dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
I miss vodka workout Fridays
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
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