That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
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