Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
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