last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
We have started to decorate penises.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
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