I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
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