I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
Pants are for mortals
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
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