She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
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