Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
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