Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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