You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
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