So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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