If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
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