I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
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