Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
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