drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
Who did Billy Mays play for?
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
Randomize