I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
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