then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
Randomize