You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Randomize