dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
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