I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
Randomize