Texts From Last Night

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  (703): View more from Virginia

  I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically

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  (703): I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically http://tfl.nu/zfwj
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  (913): View more from Kansas

  id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"

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  (913): id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!" http://tfl.nu/e9j9
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  (856): View more from New Jersey

  So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them

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  (856): So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them http://tfl.nu/pyve
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  (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.

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  (484): No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions. http://tfl.nu/e8p3
  Replies (27) Good night (4839) Bad night (668) Order T-Shirt
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  (904): View more from Florida

  Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.

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  (904): Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass. http://tfl.nu/z3do
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  (616): View more from Michigan

  Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada

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  (616): Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada http://tfl.nu/8u25
  Replies (29) Good night (1419) Bad night (4355) Order T-Shirt
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  (913): View more from Kansas

  Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.

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  (913): Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country. http://tfl.nu/x6hu
  Replies (33) Good night (5786) Bad night (835) Order T-Shirt
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  (217): View more from Illinois

  i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up

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  (217): i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up http://tfl.nu/r4jy
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  (434): View more from Virginia

  i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.

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  (434): i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister. http://tfl.nu/d8xo
  Replies (34) Good night (3448) Bad night (2964) Order T-Shirt
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  (845): View more from New York

  It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes

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  (845): It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes http://tfl.nu/nbul
  Replies (9) Good night (539) Bad night (2546) Order T-Shirt
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  (773): View more from Illinois

  I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.

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  (773): I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again. http://tfl.nu/53df
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  (420): View more from

  Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.

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  (420): Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals. http://tfl.nu/6422
  Replies (9) Good night (1148) Bad night (329) Order T-Shirt
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  (850): View more from Florida

  My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead

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  (850): My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead http://tfl.nu/ahqq
  Replies (2) Good night (342) Bad night (1035) Order T-Shirt
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  (225): View more from Louisiana

  I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.

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  (225): I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams. http://tfl.nu/g2d9
  Replies (2) Good night (248) Bad night (380) Order T-Shirt
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum

  (1-248): View more from Michigan

  You pretty much did tho

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  (248): Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum (1-248): You pretty much did tho http://tfl.nu/fp9x
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