She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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