There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
I have already put on my inside pants.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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