just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
FUCK WHALES
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
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