Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
